An empty nest is for the birds
Birdwatching, getting older, and watching your own fledglings leave home.
I am officially at the birdwatching stage of middle age.
I never thought much about birdwatching until several weeks ago when I discovered the Merlin Bird ID app. Now I’m obsessed. Every morning when I wake up, I feed my two cats, make a cup of tea, and go out to the back step on my house to record what birds are singing in my backyard. To date, I have discovered all kinds of sparrows, finches, northern cardinals, warblers, blue jays, crows, and a robin that is most vocal at dusk and dawn.
Sometimes I record the birds in the yard before I even get out of bed. Now that it’s summer, I sleep with my bedroom window open and hear the birds chirping and singing even before I’m completely awake. I grab my iPhone, which has the app, and hold it toward the window while I’m still in bed, just to find out what birds are singing that morning. My cats, which are often in the bed or sitting on my chest waiting to be fed, aren’t pleased with the delay in getting their breakfast.
Birdwatching is one of those low-barrier activities that is easy for people to get into as they get older. It’s also a great activity for single people! You can watch the birds in your own yard or local park. There’s no planning or hiking deep into the woods required to learn about nature. You can watch the birds all on your own and the birds don’t care that you’re watching them.
Also, I find it peaceful and soothing to listen to birds. It takes you away from the noise and chaos from the rest of the world around us, which if you haven’t checked lately, is not so great. Birdwatching also takes me away from the noise in my own head. Birds are oblivious to the nonsense created by people, but no doubt affected by our damaging ways. But every day, the birds still sing. There’s peace in the routine of their songs.
The tech, like the Merlin Bird ID app, is easy to use. Thanks to that app, I know the specific calls of birds, especially the robin, which I call my robin now. I’ve used the app during visits to the farm where I go horseback riding or when I go for a walk in a park. It’s very accurate and informative, except for the time when it mistook the barking of Duke, the chocolate lab that lives next door, for a barred owl. I would love for a barred owl to visit my yard, but Duke will have to do. I even joined a Birds of Nova Scotia group on Facebook, which has 19,000 members. A lot of people love birds!
I know lots of people my age who are into birdwatching. A writer I worked with about 20 years ago is into birding too. She once lived in Halifax, but moved to the Middle East years ago, when our children were a lot younger. She took up photography and has taken spectacular photos of birds in the Middle East and during trips to Africa. I am now working on my own photography. She’s on my list of Facebook friends and in a recent message said she’d be home for two weeks this summer. She suggested we go bird watching one day. I said yes and am hoping to learn some bird watching and photography skills from her. Her work is fantastic.
But birdwatching has another meaning beyond learning the tunes of each feathered friend.
A friend I’ll call Nancy, who I’ve known since we were about six years old, loves birdwatching, too. A couple of days ago, she shared on her Facebook profile a photo of a cardinals’ nest with two eggs in it. Nancy is now on duty waiting from a distance for the eggs to hatch. Nancy is more advanced in her birdwatching hobby than me. She has a feeder in her yard and takes lovely photos of the birds that visit.
Now, Nancy moved to Toronto not long after we graduated from high school. I went to visit her and another high school friend in 1993. Nancy and I went out to a nightclub in Scarborough called Doctor John’s. We got home very, very late. I remember we got a bit lost walking home in the dark and Nancy tried to climb a fence. Ah, the stories of our early 20s!
During that visit, Nancy suspected she was pregnant, and she got positive test results during my trip.
That was Nancy’s first child, a daughter, who is now 30, and an accomplished and beautiful engineer. Nancy had a second child, a son, who was born several years later. He’s now in university and a soccer superstar.
I remember when I lived in Toronto, I went to visit Nancy and her son, who was then about two years old. He was chasing the family dog around a coffee table. Nancy and I each took to a different sofa and watched Sex and the City (her son paid no attention to the TV at all).
Moments later, her son fell and hit his head on the table. Nancy jumped up, scooped her son into her arms, and nursed a small bump on his head. Her son was not injured but clearly his running ability paid off in his soccer career.
A few years ago, Nancy shared on Facebook a photo of of us during one of her visits home. In her lap was her then three-year-old son eating a Freezie with his hand on his cheek as the icy treat hit his teeth. In my lap was my daughter, then just several months old, wearing a handmade knit sweater over a cotton floral dress, looking over at my Nancy’s son. I remember that visit and it didn’t seem so long ago at all. Nancy and I were just in our early 30s then.
Now, Nancy’s children, like my daughter, have left or are leaving their nests. So, Nancy and I, even though we are provinces apart, find comfort in watching the peaceful and singing birds in our yards navigate the world, too. No more nightclubs for us, but we still appreciate watching something grow, fly, sing, bring us joy, even if it eventually leaves. Those birds, like our children, may wobble as they try to fly for the first time, but it’s wonderful to watch them soar.
As I write this, my robin has returned to my backyard. I know its call well now, thanks to the Merlin Bird ID. My daughter will be home soon, too. Children, like birds, will always leave the nest, but they will always remember who created the peaceful spaces that comfort them.
As always, thanks for reading.
Suzanne
Birdwatcher
PS: I also purchased a nice crystal bowl at a thrift store that I use for mints and candies. That bowl, like my nest, is empty now. I must fill it.