The bachelors
A single man by any other name may — or may not — be just as sweet.
I haven’t watched a single episode of The Bachelor, but the show where several women vie for the attention and affections of the man — the bachelor — is a popular one. In May, ABC announced The Bachelor was just renewed for a 29th season.
From what I know, at the end of each episode The Bachelor hands a rose to each female contestant he wants to keep in the competition to become his fiancée. The last woman standing wins the competition. Apparently, there are a lot of shenanigans on each episode. I doubt people are on the show to find true love, but whatever. The show is clearly a hit and people keep going back to watch it.
In April, I wrote about the word spinster, the term given to women who never married. The origins of that word have to nothing to do with marriage, but it was the title given to women who spun wool, one of the very few jobs women could have.
That got me thinking about the origins of the word bachelor, which is supposed to be the equivalent term for unmarried men. But the word bachelor assigned to unmarried men seems to have developed less of the sting the word spinster has for unmarried women.
Think about it: The Bachelor features men who are quite handsome, successful, and what we’d call a “catch.” But there’s no show called The Spinster.
According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, the word bachelor dates to about 1300 and was assigned to young men who were in training for knighthood:
Perhaps it is from Medieval Latin baccalarius "vassal farmer, adult serf without a landholding," one who helps or tends a baccalaria "field or land in the lord's demesne" (according to old French sources, perhaps from an alteration of vacca "a cow" and originally "grazing land" [Kitchin]).
But Wedgwood points out that the baccalarii "were reckoned as rustici, and were bound to certain duty work for their lord. There is no appearance in the passages cited of their having had any military character whatever." (He favored a Celtic origin). Or perhaps it is from Latin baculum "a stick," because the squire would practice with a staff, not a sword. "Perhaps several independent words have become confused in form" [Century Dictionary].
The dictionary says the word become a common term for young unmarried men about 1400. Around the same time, bachelor was designated for another use: "one who has taken the lowest degree in a university."
I guess I will call my two bachelor's degrees “spinster” degrees instead.
The same dictionary said bachelor parties wouldn’t become a thing until about 1882.
Here’s the definition for bachelorette, which dates to 1896:
It displaced earlier bachelor-girl (1888). The word appears to have been formed in English; Old French had bachelette "young girl" (15c.), also bachelle, bacelette, bachelote; Modern French is said to use bachelière only in the "student" sense
It’s interesting how words and their meanings evolve. I mean, what does a man who is a bachelor look like to you? What about a bachelorette? And now think of spinster.
Still, single men face their own stigmas just like single women do. For example, single men in the workplace make higher incomes than married men do. Single men are seen as less stable than married men.
Single men can be considered either womanizers and players or loners or losers. But many single men fall somewhere between those extremes. Single men, like single women, are single for many reasons from free choice to circumstance. I am not single man, though, so I can’t go into the reasons men are single and the stigma they face.
Some final thoughts here:
There have been a lot of conversations lately about the rise of the rise of lonely, single men. It’s a good discussion to have, but I cannot recall a time in which anyone was worried about the rise of lonely, single women.
I have thoughts about this, which I think are best shared in another post. But what I will say is that no one is obligated to date someone just because they are single. That applies to everyone.
Feminism has given women a lot of rights and freedom — some of which are under threat, mind you — and for that I am personally grateful. But in many cases, that has meant that men have failed to work on their end of the relationship bargain.
Oh, I also have an idea for a series called Spinster and Bachelors of Yore in which I write profiles about well-known people of history who never married. What do you think of that idea?
As always, thanks for reading.
Suzanne
Content Spinster
PS: I am off work for a few days and cleaned out my freezer, if you’re wondering what this spinster is doing during her downtime.