Cooking for one
Trying to find the fun in a chore I don't like anyway.
I am not a list person but when I go to the grocery store, I will send a text to myself with a few items I need. Here’s a text list I sent to myself the other day:
Bread
Cheese
Teabags
Cat food
When I looked at that text later, I laughed and said to myself, “that looks like the grocery list for a single cat lady.”
I don’t like to cook. I can cook but for me cooking is boring, a chore, and even a burden at times. I would rather clean, but I also don’t like doing that, but I don’t want to live in sloth, so I clean (note to self: clean later today) While I enjoy a good meal, I am more of an eat-to-live person.
I would rather do anything else than be in the kitchen. This is sacrilege to write, but I’m a Maritimer and don’t even like kitchen parties. I prefer to go on road trips or horseback riding. I would definitely prefer to write. I can whip up a story faster than I can whip up dinner. I mean, I love writing just as much as I love road trips and horseback riding. None of these activities are a chore or a burden for me.
I also don’t have the skills to just put together a meal with random ingredients. People who can do this are magicians to me. The cooking is best left to them. I’ll do the eating.
But cooking as a single person can be even more of a chore. Sure, I’ll buy one of those rotisserie chickens and then make chicken soup — I can make a good chicken soup — but then I’m eating chicken soup for days. So, I end up eating many of the same things like grilled cheese, for example. Hence, the bread and cheese on my grocery list the other day.
When my daughter was younger, cooking was easier. I’d make Sloppy Joes, shepherd’s pie, chicken pot pie, chowder, roast beef dinner, turkey dinner, and so on. When I was dating this one man for three years, I’d cook for all of us (he didn’t cook at all). My daughter jokes now that I make only chicken and potatoes, which is true since it’s easy to chuck those ingredients into my air fryer. No standing over a hot stove!
My daughter spends a lot of time at her boyfriend’s house. She tells me his family are all excellent cooks, so she’s never home anymore. I failed in teaching her how to cook, but I am glad she’s enjoying great meals. I suppose I can still teach her.
When I was not much older than my daughter is now, I dated a guy who loved to cook. His family lived in a small town known for the sticky buns at its local bakery. His mother, who was an amazing cook, made her own version of those sticky buns, which are basically cinnamon rolls that are, well, stickier.
When we went to visit his family for the first time, his mother made a delicious dinner, and when everyone was done, all the men in the family, including my boyfriend, got up from the table and went to the garage. The women, meanwhile, stayed back in the kitchen cleaning the dishes and prepping for the next meal.
“What sweet hell is this?” I remember thinking.
That man ended up marrying the woman he dated after we broke up.
Part of my dislike of cooking — and even my single status — may have something to do with my own fear of ending up in a relationship with traditional gender roles. I never wanted this and feared that it would just end up that way. I had — and still have — other things to do than cook and clean. But these are life skills, not gendered skills.
Grocery stores aren’t even set up for singletons. Think of those multi-buy deals where you can get two or more items for less than the cost of one of the same items. I don’t buy in bulk. I think I’ve been to Costco three times in my life. These deals are great for families which need them, but not for singles like me. Multi-buy deals are just one of the financial penalties singletons pay.
This week, Loblaws-owned No Frills announced it was doing away with multi-buy pricing in Canada. Good!
Fortunately, there are a lot more websites, cookbooks, and YouTube channels offering recipes and tips for cooking for one. I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts on cooking as a singleton. You can share a favourite recipe.
For now, I’ll go whip up grilled cheese for myself.
As always, thanks for reading!
Chez Suzanne
PS: I don’t have a copy editor, so forgive the typos. I hope the message of this newsletter is better than the errors my fingers make on my keyboard.
As a long-time single cat lady living well outside Halifax, I have learned to cook meals that I enjoy eating. I generally have a filling mid-day meal and a cracker-and-wharever supper. I switched my main meal time because I hate doing dishes. I can face this chore better in the afternoon than at night.