Going solo

If you wait around for other people to join you, you'll never do anything

Photo: Me in Mushaboom. Yes, it’s real place.

I love road trips. On weekends or sunny days, I will check out a map of Nova Scotia, find a back-road route I’ve never taken, and then get into my car and drive. Many times, I’m the only person on these trips.

Driving is one of my favourite things to do, although I do less because it’s not great for the environment. So, I make the trips I do take good ones. Road trips clear my head while also helping me form some thoughts on a story I’m working on. As much as I love working from home, I do need to get the hell out of the house when I’m not working.

I have discovered many excellent stories when I’m on the road, and the scenery wherever I am gives me a good chance to practice my photography skills.

Plus, I get to meet interesting strangers when I’m out and about. I may be by myself but I’m never alone.

When you’re single, doing things, including road trips and travelling, becomes a normal part of your life. I don’t mind doing things on my own at all. My theory has always been that if I waited around for people to join me on things I’d never do anything. Sure, I often invite people along, but people are busy or aren’t interested in the same things I’m interested in. So, I’ll go on my own.

I wrote about this before in this article at the Halifax Examiner. In that article I wrote about all the benefits, including the freedom to do what you want, when you want, singing loudly in the car, having the radio to yourself, taking breaks whenever you’d like, being still, being quiet, and so on.

I searched for lists of “things to do on your own” and there are many out there, including this one in Women’s Day from March 2024. I find this list kind of condescending. Like, don’t women already do these activities, like getting their nails done, on their own?

Going solo is not always great, though. I wrote about that challenge in my very first post here about signing up for a salsa dance class and being the only single person in the room. So, I signed up for pole dancing lessons, which doesn’t require a partner, but does require more upper body strength than I can muster.

There is still stigma, though. Oh, that sad single person eating dinner on their own! And then, of course, there are safety concerns, although I can’t recall not feeling unsafe anywhere on my own.

As I wrote two years ago, as you get older your friend circle shrinks a bit and people’s time is limited. So are their adventurous spirits. I enjoy trying new activities that don’t interest everyone.

Still, I would recommend not waiting around for anyone, including a prince on a horse, although cowboys are nice. I’d rather ride the horse myself. Usually, when you sign up for a hobby or something you want to do, there are people there you can join.

Speaking of which, here’s my gorgeous lesson horse, Delilah.

Suzanne

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